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Wednesday 29 December 2010
I could share some very personal stories -- that have just happened recently -- here, but I decided not to because I do not want people to feel sorry for me. However, based on several personal experiences, I've realized that: like a wound, when it gets deep enough, you won't feel the pain; and the scar that the wound leaves, will recall the memory of that battle, and remind one that they are still alive -- when one has lost enough of what they have, they may become numbed about losing, but the memory of one and their lost ones will be forever irreplaceable, and will remind them that they are still alive, and capable of doing anything to make the best of their days.
Life is a cycle, people get born, get old, get sick, and will all eventually die. I remember having a conversation with my mother one day. I knew that she is quite scared of death, but I thought people may change, so I asked, "mum, are you scared of death?" She said yes, still. She said it's because that she thinks there are too many things to do in life, and once we die, we can no longer do anything. True. However, I think the reason why she would feel this way is because she is carrying a lot of responsibilities in her life -- her family, our family, her job, and her friendships with many people. Then she asked me if I am scared of death, too. I told her that I am scared of seeing, or even imagining people die, but I'm not scared of my own death as long as it is meant to be.
I have experiences of losing the loved ones, both people and things, either by death or other reasons. My feeling at the time was awful, deadly, heartbreaking -- the feeling of grief. However, once you've lost them, you can hardly do anything about it. And so, finally, losing loved ones become like getting scars from scratches. The very first time you get scratched, you may be all worried about that it might leave a permanent scar, and if it does, you may feel sad about having an ugly scar on your once flawless skin. But when you get scratched a few more times, you know that it will leave scars on your skin, and that you can do nothing about it, but to accept it; you won't see it as a big deal anymore. In fact, you might as well feel more alive when you see your scars because each scar has their own story -- I have different memories, and stories with each of the loved ones that I have lost. Each of them had, and will always have an irreplaceable position in my life. It is painful, indeed, to have lost them. However, I am now living with the fact that they are gone. Moreover, they remind me that we shall seize the day, make each day as particular as possible because sometimes, life is too unpredictable.
Reference:
Life is a cycle, people get born, get old, get sick, and will all eventually die. I remember having a conversation with my mother one day. I knew that she is quite scared of death, but I thought people may change, so I asked, "mum, are you scared of death?" She said yes, still. She said it's because that she thinks there are too many things to do in life, and once we die, we can no longer do anything. True. However, I think the reason why she would feel this way is because she is carrying a lot of responsibilities in her life -- her family, our family, her job, and her friendships with many people. Then she asked me if I am scared of death, too. I told her that I am scared of seeing, or even imagining people die, but I'm not scared of my own death as long as it is meant to be.
I have experiences of losing the loved ones, both people and things, either by death or other reasons. My feeling at the time was awful, deadly, heartbreaking -- the feeling of grief. However, once you've lost them, you can hardly do anything about it. And so, finally, losing loved ones become like getting scars from scratches. The very first time you get scratched, you may be all worried about that it might leave a permanent scar, and if it does, you may feel sad about having an ugly scar on your once flawless skin. But when you get scratched a few more times, you know that it will leave scars on your skin, and that you can do nothing about it, but to accept it; you won't see it as a big deal anymore. In fact, you might as well feel more alive when you see your scars because each scar has their own story -- I have different memories, and stories with each of the loved ones that I have lost. Each of them had, and will always have an irreplaceable position in my life. It is painful, indeed, to have lost them. However, I am now living with the fact that they are gone. Moreover, they remind me that we shall seize the day, make each day as particular as possible because sometimes, life is too unpredictable.
Reference:
http://weheartit.com/entry/5874297 [Image. weheartit.com. © All images are copyrighted by their respective authors.]
Wednesday 22 December 2010
A young couple, Sabrina Parker and Matthew Scozzari, decided to take a chance on love while there is still time.
Sabrina, 16 years old, suffered from ALS, which is supposed to be an "old person's disease." The disease causes muscle weakness in hands, arms, legs, or the muscles of speech, swallowing or breathing; twitching, and cramping of muscles, especially those in the hands and feet; impairment of the use of the arms and legs; "thick speech," and difficulty in projecting the voice; in more advanced stages, it also causes shortness of breath, and difficulty in breathing and swallowing. ALS has killed Sabrina's mother and grand mother as well.
On the 20th of November 2010, Sabrina and boyfriend Matthew had a "friendship ceremony," in which the young couple would exchange their friendship vows (click here to watch the video of the ceremony). By being set in a church, with the presence of a priest, and the family members of both Sabrina and Matthew, and the exchange of rings, the ceremony is quite similar to a wedding. Hence, considering that Sabrina would never be able to grow up to get married, I believe this ceremony meant a lot to her. Moreover, Matthew was very brave for being there for Sabrina. He is also brave for having fallen in love with Sabrina because - considering the fact that many of us may not bare to watch our loved ones dying - he had to face the fact that she would not live long.
Based on a few chitchats with some girlfriends of mine, I know that many people who are looking for a relationship are not necessarily looking for their "love of life." Many people just want to have a company who knows him or her well, and who he or she can share everything with. As a result, breakups and heartbreaks are very often seen. However, I am not suggesting that everyone should be looking for their "love of life" when searching for a relationship. No, that might give the relationship too much pressure. What I am suggesting is that everyone should cherish each and every relationships, even just friendships, that one had or have, with those that he or she loved or loves. Like how Matthew cherishes his relationship with Sabrina. Sabrina died in ten days after the ceremony, and Matthew was by her side.
"[Sabrina] changed me a lot. I change from somebody who doesn't really care to somebody who had something to live for and care for; and being around [Sabrina] just makes me smile. . ." -- Matt
Reference:
- http://www.astantin.com/sabrina-parker-and-matthew-scozzari-astantin-20101221/sabrina-parker-and-matthew-scozzari-photo2-matt-scozzari-and-sabrina/ [Image. Sabrina Parker And Matthew Scozzari Photo 2. Wifh Love, Sabrina Parker and Matt Scozzari Face a Deadly Diagnosis. © 2008 - 2010 Astantin.com]
Monday 6 December 2010
You Better Watch Out. You Better Not Cry. You Better Not Pout. I'm Telling You Why...
0 comments Posted by Jez at 04:48
I have ran out of inspirations for blogs. Hence - since it is December, in which Christmas is just around the corner - I read an article, from Yahoo Lifestyles, Who is Santa? that talks about how should parents explain the truth about Santa to their children. In the article, eight-year-old Jack told his mum, Susan Stoddart, that he was wondering if the presents under the Christmas tree came from his parents. "Ir was a very positive conversation." Said Susan, "We talked about the values Santa represented and the idea of Christmas spirit."
According to the article, Claude Cyr, a professor of pediatrics at the Universé de Sherbrooke, in Quebec, explains that kids began to have doubts at about age seven. This is because that younger children engage in magical thinking, whereas older children (seven years old or above) begin to be able to distinguish fantasy from reality. In other words, older children are becoming concrete thinkers, in which they become more concerned with right and wrong, with what is true, and what is a lie. "Children want [parents] to tell the truth when they ask if Santa is real," says Cyr. Moreover, he suggested that listening to children's response is more important than the answer parents might give because it encourages them to express hopes, dreams, and fears. As a result, instead of answering the question, parents may sand the question back - ask them what do they think.
Six-year-old Kevin came home from daycare upset, one day, because an older girl told him that Santa is not real. "This upsets him because he still wanted to believe that Santa is real despite the doubts he had," explains Sibley, Kevin's mother. Sibley always tells Kevin to believe in what seemed right to him. As a result, he became much relieved and said he still believed in Santa.
I, myself, have never believed in Santa when I was little. This is probably because he is generally not part of the culture in where I come from - Taiwan. Therefore, as I read the article, it was a bit hard for me to feel the disappointment of the children who have finally been informed that this friendly, generous, and grateful old man who gives out gifts to every good child in town on Christmas Eves, is not real. However, I could imagine how hard it might be for these kids to overcome with such daunting fact. Also, I could imagine how hard it is for parents to explain it to their children while still keeping them open to hopes, dreams, and imaginations. I did not believe in Santa. However, I did believe in magic, and souls. I remember that when I was little, I was told, by my parents, that tables have their own souls. And so, due to respecting the souls of the tables, I shouldn't clime on it. I believed in that. In fact, I remember that I apologized to a table because I accidentally give it a stretch; and excused myself from a table before I stepped on it to turn on the fan on the ceiling. Yet, all these beliefs faded away from me, regardlessly. Only, perhaps, the realization of that magic is not real was quite daunting. I remember I have had imagined that I am a witch when I was little, and that I could heal the injury on my mum's hand by my magic power.
Anyhow, the "myth" in which tables have their own souls helped to create my respectful personality. Also, the belief in magic contributes to my imagination. Moreover, though Santa is not real, according to the Yahoo Lifestyles article, studies shows that belief in Santa encourages imagination, kindness, and co-operation; promotes family bonding; and increases the awareness of needs of others - children's letters to Santa often contain wishes for someone else, including the poor and the sick. Before reading to this point, I thought I would never let my children - if I am going to have any in the future - to believe in Santa.
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